Deep Dark whole "Crohn's Depression"

Deep Dark whole "Crohn's Depression"

by Ida
(Mississauga, ON)

Sometimes I feel very alone. Not use to this depresson that goes with having Crohn's. I don't really have anybody to talk to. On what we that have Crohn's actully go through. I am so tired of being tired, I am tired of the nausa, fever, fatigue and pain. I am tired that people really can't understand unless they are living it. I had surgery about 5 years ago. The constant every day nausa and fatigue is just to much to handle some days.

My family is supportive, but at the sametime.... sometimes they make me feel like this is all in my head. I push myself just a little harder just to get through the day. I try and hide how I really feel. But they have noticed I am just not happy anymore. I wear a mask and when someone asks how I am - I always say fine when actually I feel like cramp. I don't even know what normal is anymore. I get so excited when I have one or two days of just feeling good. Then that horrible feeling comes back once again and just take over my body from head to toe .The once happy, strong and independent person I once was seems to be gone. This deep dark whole is just to much right now.

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Deep Dark whole "Crohn's Depression"

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Dec 07, 2008

Thank you, Crystal
by: IDA

Crystal

Thank you, for your kind words. Trying to stay focused and working through the depression side of it. Between this sight and my therapist things are looking better, My therapist is teaching me the tools on how not to let the Crohns get the better of me. I mentioned to him in one session out of everything.... I lost myself somewhere along the way. The person I use to be..... He has taught me although things have changed it is ok... Let the people around me in .... share my feelings, the whole crohn's thing with them. Take the help... I don't have to do it all myself. Although my friends/ family have always been supportive it was me that didn't really open up for them to understand. I talk more now instead of holding it in. My husband tells me that I am to independent and refuse to ask for help. He is right. When I am use to doing it all... it was hard to admit some sort of defeat. Just can't do it anymore and that is "OK" ... ONE STEP AT A TIME
Visiting this sight I find It helps when I know / read all the stories. Which is your headline? Would love to read it.

Nov 21, 2008

stay strong
by: Crystal

My heart really goes out to you. This disease can really trigger depression and I am hoping that you seek some sort of counceler to deal with what you are going through. If you can, try to find a hobby or something that you can handle physically. It may really help you to feel better emotionally and will mabe take some of the focus off of what you are dealing with. I have been taking this concentrated alow drink and it has really helped me feel better. Take care and stay strong.

Aug 20, 2008

Thank you!
by: Ida

Would like to thak you for your replies. Just checked them this week. I have been feeling like crap for so long. I have gone to see a shrink to help with the depression and it has helped alot!
No meds want to get throught naturally.

Yes, I agree sometimes about being strong and maybe this is why Crohn's and I crossed paths and now we have to live together. I can take just about anything life has to offer hurdles and all.

1999 Chron's was the year I was given the news.
For years prior to that I was told by many doctors it was all in my head.
Lost my job 1999.. The pain was knocking me off my feet so many trips to the ER.. 2002 I had surgery..My dear friend killed himself.. my nephew was killed in a car accident, became a grandmother :) He's seven now and so cute! ...
Jan 2003 ...fighting with friends family they just don't understand and want to suck the life out of me. Take a pill snap out of it.

Learning to live with Chron's and trying to say "NO" more often.... I can live with all of this. I can.... but my husband, my world, my best friend told me July 2007 he had "CANCER"

I think this was my snapping point. I can't complain about my Chron's. September 2007 my husband had surgery. All went well! Not a day has gone by that I don't look a him and think how blessed I really am to have in in my life.

Not a day goes by when you don't think on the next test for him will the big "C" return

July 2008 My dog died from cancer... yes it may sound silly! I miss her so much! One year and a day that my husband told me about his Cancer finding. My thoughts were to myself this could have been my husband. Thanked God that all my husbands blood work has come back 0% and clean of cancer

2008 I feel tired almost everyday! I wear a mask for my husband.... can't even imagine what he is going through waiting on the blood work to come back. Aug 2008 Blood levels are on the rise again for him not sure where we go from here. More blood work to follow....

Trying not to get stressed out / worrying out of control. Yeah thats not happening... And you know what that does for us with Chrone's ....
Just needed to vent.... sorry ! Trying to hold it together.... And your kind words were most helpful
Thank you,

Jun 25, 2008

down not out
by: jodi

Ida,
Have just read your feed,hope you are feeling better now.Its hard to cope sometimes a,i think only the strong get chrohns as it deals us some mighty blows.I was 18 whn first diagnosed am now (eeeeek)41 and yes sometimes life sucks but somehow we keep going.you have to be positive i know its easy for me to say.have you tried St Johns Wart its a natural anti depressent.Good luck with all that you do,take care.

jodi

Jun 25, 2008

Jun 13, 2008

You are Surely Not Alone
by: Kim

There have been many bad Crohn's days for me and I walk around and tell friends and family that I felt just fine, but in actuality I felt ill. Like a lingering achiness, fatigue, and just YUCK. It is very tough, but if you can just try to meditate, relax and pray sometimes it helps. Sometimes, I just get in a nice warm bath and rub myself down and crawl into bed. Watch what you eat and drink and having a good support system helps too. I am 34 and have been diagnosed with CD for 8 years, but it was long before that, when I was feeling bad. Just 2 months ago, I had to have more than a foot of my intestines removed and I now wear a split down the front of my stomach from the surgery. Each day was tough, but I have been determined to feel better and live life and ride until the WHEELS fall off! I am a single mother and that is tough also - because so often my kids have to see me sick, but I even take that as a blessing because they help me (they are 3 and 10 years old). Anyway, stay strong...and take each day at a time.

May 19, 2008

You're not alone in feeling alone !!!
by: Anonymous

Ida - You're not alone in being told that this is all in your head. Most of us were not only told that by family members at some point, but by a Doctor or two also! In fact, I've pretty much lost a husband because he thinks I "milk" it. They truly cannot understand until they've walked in our shoes and I pray the dear Lord they never have to. Listen you HAVE to find a counselor somewhere and go talk to them. There are TONS of free resources out there: church, red cross, city mental health clinics - even your nearest hospital will probably have a crohn's support group if nothing else. You are NOT alone - all of us here live with this and suffer just as you do. Please, go find someone to talk to live and in person. You WILL get through this and one day find joy again; trust me, we've all been there ! God bless.

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Deep Dark whole "Crohn's Depression"

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